Also shared as Issue #33 of Modern Mom Notes, my weekly newsletter for moms navigating the beautiful chaos of early parenthood. Subscribe to get it in your inbox every week.
There is a version of postpartum I had seen on Instagram before I became a mom.
Six weeks out. Glowing. Somehow back in her jeans. Talking about her "postpartum journey" with a green smoothie in hand.
And then there was my reality. Surviving on coffee. Wearing the same three things. Grateful on the days I managed a shower before bedtime.
Nobody prepared me for how foreign my own body would feel. Not broken, exactly. Just completely, disorientingly different. Like moving into a house where someone rearranged all the furniture overnight, and you keep reaching for things that are not where you left them.
The Thing Nobody Says Out Loud
The pressure to "get your body back" starts almost immediately. And it is exhausting in a way that goes beyond physical tiredness.
Because it implies you lost something. That the goal is to return to who you were before. That this version of you — the one keeping a tiny human alive on almost no sleep — is somehow a temporary, lesser state.
But what if the most powerful thing you can do right now is stop trying to go back, and start trusting where you are going?
Right now, with my body deep in the beautiful chaos of growing another life while chasing a three year old, I find myself sitting with this question all over again. The breathlessness on the stairs. The back that asks for mercy by midday. The way my body is simultaneously doing something extraordinary and feeling completely out of my control.
And I keep coming back to the same truth I had to learn the first time around. This is not about going back. It never was.
The physical stuff is just the most visible layer. Underneath it is identity, energy, confidence, and the quiet question so many of us carry: who am I now, and what does my body actually need from me?
I do not have all the answers. But I found someone who does.
Meet Erika
Featured Expert
Erika — NakaNaka Mom Fitness
Founder of NakaNaka Mom Fitness, a fitness and wellness approach built entirely around real mom life. Her method centers on small intentional movements, deep core recovery, and the belief that quite good is always good enough to start.
I asked Erika three questions that I think every mom in the thick of it needs answered honestly. Not the Instagram version. The real version.
Q: I just had a baby and I am completely running on empty. My body feels foreign and everyone keeps telling me I should start moving again. When is it actually the right time, and what does realistic even look like?
First of all — release the word "should." You have just experienced a massive shift in both body and mind. If you are exhausted, your body is asking for rest, not a workout.
The biggest sign that you are ready to start moving again is your mind. Yes, you need physical clearance from your doctor first. But mentally, you are getting to know a completely new version of yourself. This is not a mission to check off. It is an adjustment to a new life stage.
When that green light turns on, start small. Walking is incredibly effective for your mental health and core recovery, especially if you can get outside with your baby.
If walking feels like too much, try these low-energy Micro Wins from your bed or couch:
The Core Balloon Breath: breathe in to relax your ribs, then exhale to gently lift your pelvic floor.
Gentle Mobility: light neck rolls, shoulder shrugs, or seated cat-cow stretches to release the tension from holding and feeding your baby.
Start with five minutes. Quite good is the perfect place to begin. 🤍
Q: I am pregnant with my second and already chasing a toddler all day. My back hurts, I leak when I sneeze, and I have nothing left. What can I do to take care of my body without making things worse?
Leakage and back pain during pregnancy are very common, but they are signs that your inner canister needs a little extra support. When you are chasing a toddler, your body is under constant demand and it is easy to run on empty.
Start with the Exhale on Effort rule. Whether you are picking up your toddler or a heavy laundry basket, begin your exhale before you lift. This prevents downward pressure on your pelvic floor and stabilises your back.
Pair this with the Core Balloon Breath: as you inhale, let your belly and pelvic floor relax. As you exhale, gently lift. Doing this for just two minutes while your toddler plays is a massive win for your deep strength.
For back pain, try gentle pelvic tilts or cat-cow stretches on all fours to take the weight of the baby off your spine.
Remember — staying active is not about a 60-minute gym session. It is about moving with intention during your real life moments.
Q: Everyone talks about bouncing back after having a baby. But honestly, what should moms actually be focusing on in those early months — not for Instagram, but to genuinely feel strong and capable again?
Forget the bounce-back culture. Forget the pressure to look like you never had a baby. Those images are a highlight reel, not the reality of motherhood.
At NakaNaka Mom Fitness, I believe we are not getting our bodies back. We are getting a new body. You are a different version of yourself now. And while that comes with real challenges, it also comes with incredible new strength.
The early months are about adjusting to this new version of you. It starts with the mind. Once you admit and embrace who you are today, your true journey begins.
The secret to feeling capable in daily life is the Micro Win. Five squats while you wait for the microwave — inhaling down, exhaling up — is a strong win. A crab walk across the floor with your toddler is a win. Even holding a plank just long enough to kiss your baby on the floor is a victory.
When you stack these moments together, you will realise you have become a version of yourself that is stronger, inside and out, than you ever were before. 💛
You Are Not Behind
Which of these feels most like where you are right now?
The exhausted postpartum mom figuring out where to even begin? The pregnant mom running on empty while chasing a toddler? Or the mom who is quietly wondering if she will ever feel like herself again?
Wherever you are — this is for you.
"You are not the person you were before. You are someone who has done something extraordinary. That is not a loss. That is becoming."
Drop it in the comments. I read every single one.
If this resonated, you might also like: Balancing Acts: Motherhood, Work, and Everything In Between →
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Until next time,
Aradhana 🤍